The Minnesota Twins are very bad.
Now, the Kansas City Royals have struggled mightily this year. They stand at 60-60, and have not had a winning record since July 22, when they were 48-47. They've sort of been bad everywhere.
But not Twins bad. Oh, the Twins are bad. Only eight of their players have been worth 1 WAR or more. That is not good. That is bad. And for the Royals, who are looking to get back into contention, playing this bad Twins team at home is good.
The lineups! The Royals send (indistinguishable fifth starter name here) to the mound with their recent standard lineup:
The Twins, meanwhile, send their fake Duffy to the mound in an attempt to gather power from the real one:
May thine Royals sweep again, thus clinging ever closer to salvation. Amen.