The World Champion Kansas City Royals look increasingly unlikely to retain that status as they come out of a four-game sweep at the hands of the lowly Oakland Athletics. With another four-game series against a sub-.500 team facing them, the opportunity to make up ground in the Wild Card race theoretically presents itself, though the six games that they would have to make up to catch either Toronto or Baltimore render any such hope foolhardy at best.
*All stats courtesy of FanGraphs and Baseball-Reference
Game One: Friday, 7:15 PM CDT
|Chris Sale (L)||28||201.2||205||43||3.03||3.43||3.62||3.50||4.8||5.3|
After their running afoul of the law in Ghent and losing Ballgag to a freak auto-erotic asphixiation accident in New Zealand, Swedish Sex Dungeon’s relocation to Detroit led the remaining members down the dark path through neighboring Windsor’s sex work scene and the drugs that came in tow. With a storied history of PCP use and trafficking already chasing them from mainland Europe, SSD’s members began chasing the dragon and then shooing the dragon away with rail after rail of designer amphetamines. The band’s once cheeky name serving as an unwitting harbinger for what was to come, their penchant for depravity proved to be their undoing in a predictable fashion.
Game Two: Saturday, 6:15 PM CDT
In the throes of a month-long opiate- and amphetamine-fueled bacchanalia, Terrorbithia, second drummer Mal Mordor, and Steve starved to death while bound and forgotten about in a Canadian sex dungeon. The Ambassador Bridge looming as a constant reminder of the loss of three-sevenths of the band, the indomitable now-quartet moved once again, this time to Montreal.
Game Three: Sunday, 1:15 PM CDT
|Jose Quintana (L)||29||192.0||171||42||3.05||3.43||3.94||3.88||4.7||5.0|
|Danny Duffy (L)||39||162.2||173||34||3.15||3.53||3.75||3.41||3.1||4.2|
In an attempt to outrun their tawdry past, Swedish Sex Dungeon holed up in the studio, recording their most ambitious release to that point, Expos Yourself. This was SSD’s game-changer. A curious public came flocking to the album, and they followed with a morbid curiosity to their shows. Underground clubs proved too small to hold them. Their performances began to come into focus, the self-destructive on-stage implosions a thing of the past. Losing four bandmembers in two chaotic years to sexually-related accidents was the wake-up call that Tor Mentor, Mork D, Mate Gourd, and Fletch F. Letch needed. Mate Gourd legally changed his name to Thisisfor Ballgag.
Game Four: Monday, 1:15 PM CDT
|Carlos Rodon (L)||25||147.0||143||47||4.04||4.03||4.00||4.03||2.5||1.3|
Expos Yourself gave way to their rock opera Starvation Nation. While stodgier critics felt there was a bit of bloat, the scope played to their increasing popularity and their theatrics were starting to reach for the stars. A frank exploration into the deaths of Terrorbithia, Mal Mordor, and Steve, the performances featured the mummified remains of the fallen trio. Fans also routinely related stories of seeing the ghost of Ballgag - belt hanging from his neck - at shows, particularly on the Asian leg of their world tour.
|Adam Eaton (L)||CF||654||13||84||55||12||.285||.366||.431||.346||115||5.9||5.9|
|Melky Cabrera (S)||LF||579||10||61||71||2||.297||.347||.441||.338||110||1.4||2.1|
|Justin Morneau (L)||DH||183||5||13||22||0||.256||.295||.430||.307||89||-0.2||0.1|
|Omar Narvaez (L)||C||90||0||11||6||0||.263||.367||.316||.307||88||0.1||0.3|
|Alex Avila (L)||C||181||6||16||9||0||.221||.354||.383||.328||103||0.9||0.9|
|Leury Garcia (S)||IF||3||0||1||0||1||.000||.000||.000||.000||-100||0.0||-0.0|
|Carlos Sanchez (S)||IF||109||0||9||10||0||.186||.224||.265||.215||26||-0.6||-0.4|
|J.B. Shuck (L)||OF||232||4||23||14||3||.209||.253||.307||.246||47||-1.5||-1.6|
*Stats through Thursday, September 15
Their new level of fame seemed to agree with Swedish Sex Dungeon. Mork D and added third drummer for Starvation Nation Stevia Plantain entered into a polyamorous marriage that suited the both of them. Tor Mentor reconnected with his father, the standing Prime Minister of Poland.
While things were coming up roses for Swedish Sex Dungeon, they were just in the eye of the storm.
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