Hot stove satire: Royals close to signing former top high school prospect Emmett Cullen

The rumor mill is running in over drive right now as the hot stove continues to lie cold. The latest of these seems to indicate that the Royals may attempt a low cost, rebound signing of a former top high school prospect Emmett Cullen.

Cullen is an athletic outfielder known for his gravity-defying catches and extreme power. He was born in Gatlinburg, TN but grew up in Forks, Washington where he played baseball whenever the weather permitted. Due to lack of playing time in a cold-weather state he was considered something of a raw talent when he first became draft eligible but the athleticism was undeniable.

The Forks High School graduate is a complete five-tool player and was scouted as having potential 80 grades across the board. The biggest reason he wasn’t drafted when he first became eligible is that there were some questions about the authenticity of his birth certificate with some teams seeming to indicate that he may be older than he claimed.

Cullen is married to his high school sweetheart, Rosalie Cullen, and has worked off and on for a local rail road company. He enjoys hunting, which should give him and manager Ned Yost something to talk about. He has two brothers and a sister. The brothers were considered prospects as well but none were as hyped as Emmett “Monkey Man” Cullen - who has the build at 6’5” and 250 pounds to really intimidate pitchers.

If the Royals sign him he’ll likely receive an invitation to spring training with either a chance at or a guaranteed spot in center field and the middle of the lineup. This move makes a lot of sense for the Royals since they seem likely to be out of the running for their own free agents as well as other elite talent like Shohei Otani. He is likely to be cheap because of the down time since he last played as well as mysteries like the birth certificate thing. If he pans out as well as the team hopes he could be a cross between Lorenzo Cain, Aaron Judge, and Mike Trout in center. Even at his worst he seems likely to be an improvement over anyone the Royals currently have in-house. If you watch the scouting tape below you will see his defense is certainly major league ready. You will also see the rawness in his lack of communication with other outfielders; any Royals players roaming toward center would be wise to give way.