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Let’s come up with some more insane food items for the Royals to sell

Consult your cardiologist.

The Royals garnered some publicity last week by unveiling their newest ballpark food option, a pulled pork patty melt wrapped in a funnel cake, with fried onions, cheese, bacon, and a jalapeno pepper on top.

Frankly, it looks disgusting. I can’t imagine myself eating more than two or three of those at Kauffman Stadium this summer.

The ante has been upped in which baseball team can offer the most absurd, artery-clogging food options for the gastronomically-inclined fan. Minor league teams have been falling all over themselves to offer more ridiculous ballpark fare. It has literally caused a food fight.

With these outrageous ballpark food items, the formula generally seems to be:

  • Delicious but unhealthy food item
  • Wrapped in dangerously unhealthy food item
  • Smothered in a delicious sauce
  • Garnished with an appetizer from Applebee’s

The selling point is “see these things you love individually? Well won’t they be a MILLION times better if we smashed them together? Its science!”

I thought we would all play a little “Top Chef” and come up with our own ballpark fare. And it is so easy! All you have to do is taken random delicious items and combine them! I created this ballpark food generator to give you some ideas.

Remember to ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough to use the ballpark food generator!