The Royals garnered some publicity last week by unveiling their newest ballpark food option, a pulled pork patty melt wrapped in a funnel cake, with fried onions, cheese, bacon, and a jalapeno pepper on top.
New at @Royals Games: Pulled Pork Patty Melt with funnel cake, BBQ pork, fried onions, cheese, bacon & a jalapeño popper pic.twitter.com/G7CqGz9IKC— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) March 15, 2017
Frankly, it looks disgusting. I can’t imagine myself eating more than two or three of those at Kauffman Stadium this summer.
The ante has been upped in which baseball team can offer the most absurd, artery-clogging food options for the gastronomically-inclined fan. Minor league teams have been falling all over themselves to offer more ridiculous ballpark fare. It has literally caused a food fight.
Another food item for 2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣7️⃣ that the @FresnoTacos will want to steal from us:— IronPigs (@IronPigs) March 13, 2017
Introducing the Belgian Waffle Taco. #NewFoodWeek pic.twitter.com/PGggJG9Veb
Yeah, we steal from you guys.— Fresno Grizzlies (@FresnoGrizzlies) March 13, 2017
2015: "Fresno Tacos" win numerous awards, capture heart of America.
2016: "Lehigh Valley Cheesesteaks"
With these outrageous ballpark food items, the formula generally seems to be:
- Delicious but unhealthy food item
- Wrapped in dangerously unhealthy food item
- Smothered in a delicious sauce
- Garnished with an appetizer from Applebee’s
The selling point is “see these things you love individually? Well won’t they be a MILLION times better if we smashed them together? Its science!”
I thought we would all play a little “Top Chef” and come up with our own ballpark fare. And it is so easy! All you have to do is taken random delicious items and combine them! I created this ballpark food generator to give you some ideas.
Remember to ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough to use the ballpark food generator!