The Marlins are getting rid of their gaudy, yet iconic home run sculpture because Derek Jeter will not tolerate fun of any kind. The sculpture has been around since the opening of Marlins Park in 2012, costing $2.5 million. It won’t be completely gone, the Marlins are just moving it outside the stadium, which may actually get more people to see it since no one actually goes in the stadium to see Marlins games.
Just for a second, let me show your the sculpture in all its glory.
Have you ever seen something so beautiful? Shouldn’t something this wonderful find a loving home inside a baseball stadium, ready to pop up and announce itself on every dinger hit to the delight of fans? The Omaha Storm Chasers, top minor league affiliate of the Kansas City Royals, have graciously offered to save this piece of Americana and take the sculpture off Jeter’s hands.
To show they are serious, they even spent a few minutes mocking up what the sculpture would look like at Werner Park. Squint your eyes, and you can imagine Frank Schwindel being congratulated with this monstrosity every time he parks one out of the ballpark.
Maybe the sculpture could be altered a bit to fit Omaha, like maybe the moving marlins could be replaced by runzas or caricatures of Warren Buffett or something. And could we get it up in time for when the Royals play an exhibition game there next spring?
It is amazing something could be too campy for Florida, but here we are. But we can’t let something this kitschy just go to waste. Give the people what they want. Move the sculpture to Omaha.