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Hok Talk: Royals as Thanksgiving foods

I’m going to be full until sometime next week

Chicago Bears v Detroit Lions
The US is weird about its holidays.
Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images

Two days ago was Thanksgiving in the United States. It’s basically yet another excuse for us to gorge ourselves on certain traditional foods. I don’t know about everyone else but my mom cooks enough food to feed 50 people even when only 8 of us show up for dinner. Then there are leftovers for weeks. And I’m still full from the first meal.

It should come as no surprise then, that I’m still thinking about Thanksgiving dinner more than baseball. So I asked myself, “If the Royals were Thanksgiving dishes, which ones would they be?” This is a surprisingly difficult question to answer.

Turkey - This is the most famous dish. It’s rarely the best item on the menu, depending on who is cooking it. But it’s not really Thanksgiving without it. Who is the turkey in this Royal feast? Salvador Perez.

Mashed Potatoes - Mashed potatoes are really good. They play well with others. They’re not really heavy hitters but they show up and do their job. With the right seasonings, they can excel, too! Danny Duffy.

Rolls - Rolls can serve as a kind of palate cleanser or as a good way to clean up the plate. They’re also often afterthoughts to the actual meal. Ryan O’Hearn.

Stuffing/Dressing - The most common form of dressing where I’m from is cornbread stuff. Being so bready it can fill a similar role to the rolls. It’s really good when it’s done right but if you aren’t very careful with it it is really easy to ruin cornbread stuffing in a lot of ways. Jorge Soler.

Sweet Potato Casserole - The mixture of flavors in this dish is so divine. Even if you don’t like sweet potatoes you can find yourself pleasantly surprised by how tasty it is. Hopefully, it’s just as good as leftovers. Brad Keller.

Macaroni and Cheese - This is a truly amazing dish. One of my favorites. I’ve never had it at Thanksgiving. Seems like I’m the only one and it’s a staple almost everywhere else, though. Bartolo Colon

Green Bean Casserole - You really want to add something green and growing to your Thanksgiving dinner. But, of course, you had to cover it in cream soup and fried onions (aka strikeouts). Adalberto Mondesi.

Cranberry Sauce - It shows up in Thanksgiving meals and Thanksgiving themed foods. It’s practically everywhere this time of year. But is it actually any good? Yeah, some people like it. But you have to question their decision-making skills, a bit. Alcides Escobar.

Gravy - It can go on almost everything. It’s probably better than you give it credit for. But it doesn’t last for very long before it goes rancid. Whit Merrifield.

Pumpkin Pie - It’s a solid pie. It’s been a staple for forever. But man. After all that other food you don’t really have room for it, do you? But you’re going to shove it in your mouth anyway, aren’t you? You always expect it to be a little bit better than it is, too. Alex Gordon.

So which dishes did I leave off? Which one of these is the most accurate? Did you celebrate the holiday? Did you also eat way too much? Is it time for baseball, again, yet?

As always I’m thankful for so many things, this year. My health, my friends, and indoor plumbing. But I’m also thankful to all of you for reading my nonsense week after week and my fellow writers here at Royal Review for putting out enough quality content to keep the site going despite me.