Tonight, the Kansas City Royals kick off a three-game tilt against their cross-state pseudo-rivals the St. Louis Cardinals. Mike Moustakas hopes to set off an intra-Hellenic WAR by hanging dong off the man, the myth, the Mikolas, whose nickname is apparently the “Lizard King.”
Miles Mikolas and Ian Kennedy will be this evening’s starting pitchers. Hold onto yer butts.
The Royals will field the following starting lineup:
These will be the heinous Cardinals with Mikolas’s scuzzy ‘stache:
This game will be a WAR!