Ugh: Cardinals 7, Royals 0

I know, guys, I really thought it was going to be Burch Smith’s year too.

Smith didn’t make it out of the second inning as the Royals were trounced at Kauffman Stadium by the St. Louis Cardinals, 7-0. It’s the third straight time that the Cardinals have beaten the Royals by 5+ runs in Kansas City.

Royals Review pays me to write these recaps, so I am obligated to give you something here. I’ve written multiple recaps each week for more than four years for this website. I never have seen a game where there was quite literally nothing to write about like this one.

St. Louis scored five runs off Smith in the second inning. They added a run in the sixth and another in the seventh. That makes seven runs. The Royals did not score. 7-0.

Paul DeJong, Matt Carpenter (of course), and Harrison Bader all hit home runs that delighted the dumb Cardinals fans that took over Kauffman Stadium for the weekend.

Burch Smith: 1.2 innings, six hits, five runs, and zero strikeouts. He has given up more runs (24) than he has innings pitched (22.1) since becoming a starter in early July. He is 1-4.

Please start somebody else five days from now. Start literally everybody else. Run a contest where a random fan who likes a Facebook post gets to start or something. It’s more promising and productive than giving Burch Smith starts every single week.

Hey, Brandon Maurer struck out the side and didn’t give up a run for the fifth time in the last six outings! So there is that. I guess.

Austin Gomber, who none of you knew existed a few hours ago, threw five shutout innings to grab the win for St. Louis. The Royals managed just five hits on the evening. Two of them were by Brett Phillips.

The Royals are 35-80. Holy goodness, that’s 45 games under .500. That’s almost impossible to do, you guys.

Also: the Royals are now 16-40 at home. They are on pace to lose 58 home games this year. No team in the history of baseball has ever lost 58 home games in one season.

Just make it stop.

Tomorrow: does it matter? I think it’s Danny Duffy’s turn to get smashed by the Cardinals in front of all those low-IQ fans. They’re giving out 1985 World Series trophies, which is kind of cool. I might go get one and then leave before the game starts.