The Kansas City Royals venture beyond the Iron Curtain to face the dastardly Russian squad, dead-set on undermining the fabric of America’s pastime with deleterious concepts like openers and bullpens lacking in clear, preassigned roles. The St. Petersburg Devil Rays pose a threat to our freedom, even when just facing a terrible team like these Royals.
Putin’s soldiers will align themselves thusly:
The lovers of freedom (except when it comes to smut) will look a little something like this:
This game will be a WAR.