Which new Royal has the best anagram nicknames?

Some years ago, when Kansas City Royals fans had nothing better to do but remember 1985, pine for the fjords good ol’ days, and come up with stupid nicknames for players, somebody decided that anagrams were a great way to do the latter. An anagram uses the same letters in a given word but arranges them differently to form a new word. For instance, ‘sword’ is an anagram of ‘words.

Nicknames were dispensed. Alex Gordon became ‘Lo, Danger Ox.’ Eric Hosmer became ‘Crime Horse.’ Kendrys Morales became ‘Dreamy Snorkels’ (I will FIGHT you on that one).

Unfortunately, some names don’t form good anagrams. This is a sad but unavoidable part of life, just like milk going bad. It is what it is.

So, who among the Royals’ rookies has good anagrams? For there are many rookies and new Royals this year. Let us investigate who has the best anagrams.

Maverick Phillips

Spherical Milk VIP

Phallic Viper Skim

Perhaps Civil Milk

Primeval Chip Silk

Vampire Hick Spill

Maverick Phillips is way better than Brett Phillips, which has a load of nothing. So be it.

Rosell Herrera

Hearse Err Roll

Hearer Rollers

Shearer Roller

Re: Hares Roller

Hear, Sell, Error

Ehhh. Nothing particularly good here. Hear, Sell, Error sounds vaguely baseball-like.

Brian Goodwin

Boarding Wino

Rainbow Dingo

Ordaining Bow

Inward Booing

Bad Ironing, Ow!

Bad Groin Wino

Own Dab Origin

Gonad Rib Wino

Ohhhh yes, here is the stuff. Rainbow Dingo is sublime, but so is Inward Booing and Gonad Rib Wino. Too many good nicknames.

Ryan O’Hearn

Horny Arena

A Neon Harry

Near Ya, Horn

Horny Arena is solid. The rest, not so much. But you only need one good anagram.

Hunter Dozier

Theorized Run

Dourer Zenith

Endured Rho Zit

I, Thunder Zero

Dune Or Zither

Lots of zits going on in Dozier’s anagram list. I, personally, am a big fan of I, Thunder Zero as a Lo, Danger Ox-esque anagram nickname.

Brad Keller

Darker Bell

Barker Dell

Re: Bled Lark

Not so hot. Darker Bell is pretty neat, however, that’s pretty much it.

Glenn Sparkman

Slang Prank Men

Gnarl Spank Men

Mr. Sang Lank Pen

Glen Pranks Man

Again, not so hot. Could be worse. But nothing really gold here.

Burch Smith

Much Births

Thumbs Rich

Chub Mirths

Mr. Shit Chub

Brims Hutch

Uh, the fourth one is a little on the nose.

Heath Fillmyer

Feather My Hill

Thy Healer Film

Flea Rhyme Hilt

Afire Hell Myth

My Health Rifle

Thermal Hie Fly

Ahem: Hitler Fly.

Father Hem Lily

You know what let’s just stop right there. Once Hitler shows up, game’s over. Go home.

...alright. One more.

Adalberto Mondesi

Abdomen Idolaters

Adenoidal Mobster

Booted Adrenalism

Obedient Armloads

Demoralised Baton

Biased Tremolando

No, Mondesi isn’t new, but Adalberto Mondesi is new and, uh, there are soooo many combinations, you guys. Here’s the link. Find your own favorites.