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Some years ago, when Kansas City Royals fans had nothing better to do but remember 1985, pine for the fjords good ol’ days, and come up with stupid nicknames for players, somebody decided that anagrams were a great way to do the latter. An anagram uses the same letters in a given word but arranges them differently to form a new word. For instance, ‘sword’ is an anagram of ‘words.
Nicknames were dispensed. Alex Gordon became ‘Lo, Danger Ox.’ Eric Hosmer became ‘Crime Horse.’ Kendrys Morales became ‘Dreamy Snorkels’ (I will FIGHT you on that one).
Unfortunately, some names don’t form good anagrams. This is a sad but unavoidable part of life, just like milk going bad. It is what it is.
So, who among the Royals’ rookies has good anagrams? For there are many rookies and new Royals this year. Let us investigate who has the best anagrams.
Maverick Phillips
Spherical Milk VIP
Phallic Viper Skim
Perhaps Civil Milk
Primeval Chip Silk
Vampire Hick Spill
Maverick Phillips is way better than Brett Phillips, which has a load of nothing. So be it.
Rosell Herrera
Hearse Err Roll
Hearer Rollers
Shearer Roller
Re: Hares Roller
Hear, Sell, Error
Ehhh. Nothing particularly good here. Hear, Sell, Error sounds vaguely baseball-like.
Brian Goodwin
Boarding Wino
Rainbow Dingo
Ordaining Bow
Inward Booing
Bad Ironing, Ow!
Bad Groin Wino
Own Dab Origin
Gonad Rib Wino
Ohhhh yes, here is the stuff. Rainbow Dingo is sublime, but so is Inward Booing and Gonad Rib Wino. Too many good nicknames.
Ryan O’Hearn
Horny Arena
A Neon Harry
Near Ya, Horn
Horny Arena is solid. The rest, not so much. But you only need one good anagram.
Hunter Dozier
Theorized Run
Dourer Zenith
Endured Rho Zit
I, Thunder Zero
Dune Or Zither
Lots of zits going on in Dozier’s anagram list. I, personally, am a big fan of I, Thunder Zero as a Lo, Danger Ox-esque anagram nickname.
Brad Keller
Darker Bell
Barker Dell
Re: Bled Lark
Not so hot. Darker Bell is pretty neat, however, that’s pretty much it.
Glenn Sparkman
Slang Prank Men
Gnarl Spank Men
Mr. Sang Lank Pen
Glen Pranks Man
Again, not so hot. Could be worse. But nothing really gold here.
Burch Smith
Much Births
Thumbs Rich
Chub Mirths
Mr. Shit Chub
Brims Hutch
Uh, the fourth one is a little on the nose.
Heath Fillmyer
Feather My Hill
Thy Healer Film
Flea Rhyme Hilt
Afire Hell Myth
My Health Rifle
Thermal Hie Fly
Ahem: Hitler Fly.
Father Hem Lily
You know what let’s just stop right there. Once Hitler shows up, game’s over. Go home.
...alright. One more.
Adalberto Mondesi
Abdomen Idolaters
Adenoidal Mobster
Booted Adrenalism
Obedient Armloads
Demoralised Baton
Biased Tremolando
No, Mondesi isn’t new, but Adalberto Mondesi is new and, uh, there are soooo many combinations, you guys. Here’s the link. Find your own favorites.
Poll
Who has the best anagram nickname?
This poll is closed
-
7%
Brett ‘Maverick’ Phillips
-
0%
Rosell Herrera
-
29%
Brian Goodwin
-
11%
Ryan O’Hearn
-
14%
Hunter Dozier
-
0%
Brad Keller
-
1%
Glenn Sparkman
-
21%
Burch Smith
-
4%
Heath Fillmyer
-
9%
Adalberto Mondesi