Royals lose their 100th game to the Pirates with another 10 to go

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TODAY/TONIGHT, the Kansas City Royals lost to the PITTSBURGH PIRATES CITY TEAM NAME by a score of 2-1 SCORE. The PIRATES TEAM NAME simply overpowered a flailing Royals squad, who did not have enough oomph to get the job done.

It began with HEATH FILLMYER KANSAS CITY ROYALS STARTER. The INEXPERIENCED YOUNGSTER/AGING VETERAN had some nice moments, but was ultimately unable to contain PITTSBURGH CITY. His biggest problems came in PROBABLY THE FIFTH INNING, BUT ALSO MAYBE THE FIRST INNING, when PITTSBURGH TEAM NAME scored ONE HOW MANY run(s) by hitting ROYALS STARTER FILLMYER’s pitches very far AND/OR scraping together runs with a combination of good plate discipline, poor Royals defense, and sharp baserunning.

On the offensive side of the ball, the Royals were UNABLE TO SCORE/HILARIOUSLY ABLE TO SCORE BUT ON A DAY/NIGHT WHEN IT DIDN’T MATTER. The suckitude was led by TWO OR MORE CONSECUTIVE HITTERS IN THE LINEUP WITHOUT ANY HITS Alex Gordon and Salvador Perez, who went COMBINED LINE a combined 0 for 8 in the heart of the order with two strikeouts. A few other Royals had hits, and INSERT ONE GOOD OFFENSIVE EVENT HERE, MAYBE A HOME RUN OR TWO CONSECUTIVE SINGLES, WHATEVER, Adalberto Mondesi hit his tenth home run of the year and added another double, continuing his tear and perhaps ascension to the upper echelon of American League shortstops, but were unable to score what they needed.

The Kansas City bullpen was FINE, BUT THE SCORE WAS ALREADY OUT OF HAND BY THAT POINT/A TERRIBLE WRECK THAT BLEW THE GAME, AGAIN. The days since the glorious HDH are over. The days since the glorious H...are over. The good days are gone, is what I’m saying.

Anyway, the Royals loss puts them at a record of INSERT HORRIFIC NSFW RECORD HERE 52-100, where they are stunningly not running away with last place overall because the Baltimore Orioles exist. Next, they face WHATEVER BASEBALL TEAM THEY ARE FACING NEXT, the Detroit Tigers, and are likely to continue losing baseball games at a prodigious rate.