Royals lose Battle of the Lopezes 5-1

The Battle of the Lopezes was everything as advertised. Was it advertised? I guess not. Anyway, if it was advertised, it would have been everything as advertised. At least if it was advertised as a pitching duel between two strikeout pitchers. Regardless, the Royals lost 5-1 in a game that wasn’t very interesting and makes one want to stop watching Royals games for a long time.

For the Royals, Jorge. Lopez was really sharp—most of the time. J. Lopez has some of the best pure stuff on the Royals staff. If he’s going right, he can zip a mid-90s fastball in with lethal arm-side action that looks like a ball until it just...settles into the strike zone like it was a warm bed to fall into after a long day of work. Pair that with a hard curve and you get a guy who can strike out a lot of dudes. Indeed, J. Lopez struck out 10 guys tonight in six innings, raising his season K/9 up to an even 9.0.

But that “most of the time” was because of one Yoan Moncada, who clubbed two no-doubt smash dongs. Lopez also gave up two other runs in the fifth inning. It was a fine performance, assuming that the Royals offense could scrounge up some.

Unfortunately, the Royals were outdueled by the Other Lopez. Reynaldo. R. Lopez struck out five Royals whilst giving up only a single run, a dong by Lucas Duda. Duda!

I could write more about this game but, uh, the Royals are 5-12 and they haven’t won a single game outside the confines of Kauffman Stadium. Chris Owings, Cam Gallagher, and Billy Hamilton went a combined 0-9. Yay!

Tomorrow afternoon, the Royals play the Pale Hose again. They’ll probably lose. Yay rebuilding! Welcome to the fun nothingness where everything is terrible and things catch on fire for no reason. Eat Arby’s.