As I’ve stated before, I listen to Christmas music every year starting on November 1st. This year I started earlier because I needed a bit of a joy booster to this fiery hell storm of a year. And it’s mostly done the trick; I’ve certainly noticed a boost in my day when I turn on some Christmas music.
And I have compiled a few takes upon some of these songs from year to year and I’d like to share them now.
“Santa Baby” by every female pop singer of all time
This song is definitively the WORST Christmas song out there. This song debuted in 1953, which I guess was a time where it was considered socially acceptable to treat Santa like a sugar daddy simp that was easily swayed by shallow words like “Cutie” and “Honey”. NOT MY SANTA. My Santa is a wholesome and magical elf that is happily married to the most ride-or-die chubby chaser, Mrs. Clause. He would never stoop to the likes of some gold digging floozy who justifies her deservingness of receiving every lavish gift under the Sun by saying “think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed”. Hit the bricks, lady. Santa ain’t falling for it!
“Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen
This is not a Christmas song yet the Pentatonix cover of it is on every Christmas playlist and radio station since its release in 2016. The closest ties to Christmas it sports is some references to the same book as the original Christmas story. It’s only included because Susan Boyle put it on her popular 2010 Christmas album. It’s a beautiful song, but get it outta my Christmas music.
Let the record show that this is not all Pentatonix’s’s’s fault as mentioned in a previous version of this article. Though they still share blame for perpetuating the myth of this being a Christmas song, they are not the first offenders. Thank you.
“Baby It’s Cold Outside” by Every Singer That Thinks Their Public Image is Too Good
Let’s get some things straight. Yes, this song is problematic. No, you’re not the first person to tweet that. No, you won’t be the last. Yes, this song was written in a different time (1944); things were both different AND very much the same. No, that does not excuse new versions of this song to be made every year. Yes, your next tweet should be “Die Hard is my favorite Christmas movie. Don’t @ me.”
“Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson
This song might be the best of new-ish Christmas music. There’s been no songs since Mariah Carey to reach Christmas classic. This one is the closest we’ve come since 1994. I’m ready to declare Kelly Clarkson the new Queen of Christmas Music. If anyone has ties to Kelly, let her know I made a sash for her, please.
On to the Rumblings...
Lynn Worthy at the KC Star wrote about Mike Matheny’s sharing the same concerns about the direction of baseball as Theo Epstein.
“I couldn’t agree with Theo more from a general perspective that that’s the type of baseball that I’d love to see,” Matheny said in a recent phone interview with The Star. “I’ve been in conversations even with the commissioner’s office of how can we somehow reward quality at-bats. How can we incentivize putting together a tough at-bat, putting the ball in play, putting pressure on the defense.”
Alec Lewis wrote Part 1 of a Mailbag article where answered a lot of questions about recent roster additions and potential future ones.
Derek Dietrich is my choice, and here’s why: In eight seasons, he’s posted a 107 OPS+ and a .335 on-base percentage. He can play in left field, at third or even at second, giving more versatility for a team that could use it. No, he hasn’t been in a highly competitive clubhouse (he spent six years with Miami). But for the price the Royals could probably get him, he makes sense as a dude who could play 100 games and post a .265/.330/.420 line.
We talked a bit of Royals on Clearing Waivers this week in our new segment. It starts around the 32:00 minute mark but you should just jump in on the whole thing.
Nick Stevens with Call to the Pen looked at three potential left handed bats the Royals could look at adding.
Shawn Bowman with Kings of Kauffman wishes for the second wave of Royals pitching prospects for Christmas.
While we’re with Kings of Kauffman and pitching, Mike Gillespie wonders if the Royals should try to bring back Wade Davis.
MLB announced their opening matchup for Sunday Night Baseball between the Angels and White Sox. Of the portion of the schedule they announced, our beloved Boys in Blue are not on there.
HOLY NEW EPISODE OF THE MANDALORIAN!!! That 30 minutes was better than Rogue One in its entirety.
Sony pulled Cyberpunk 2077 from its online store. I don’t remember that ever happening because a game was so shitty.
Player Curse of the Week
Brandon Aiyuk, WR, San Francisco 49ers
Coming into the season, I bought a lot of shares in Deebo Samuel, so it’s a bit of a pride swallowing to hand this title to Aiyuk right now. But he’s absolutely on fire. Over the last five games that he’s been healthy for, Aiyuk has averaged 20.5 points per game. This week he’s up against a Dallas Cowboys defense that’s given up the 2nd most points this season to wide receivers. He doesn’t need a good quarterback to put up monster weeks. Saddle him up and ride him to the championship.
Song of the Day
“Magic” by B.o.B. featuring Rivers Cuomo
This song is an awesome way to start a Saturday. We’ve all got the magic in us. Let’s go have a Saturday. P.S. Rivers Cuomo looks like Johnny Knoxville’s little brother.