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Twins down Royals 9-1 in Friday opener

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Bummer.

MLB: Kansas City Royals at Minnesota Twins Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports

The Royals lost their Friday-night opener to the Twins, 9-1, on Friday night. The game was woefully unnoteworthy from a box score perspective.

Brady Singer got hit on the foot by a screaming line drive by Josh Donaldson, causing him to exit the game after two innings. Tyler Zuber came in and gave up a three-run homer to some scrub named Alex Kirilloff, who entered hitting .115 and somehow managed to hit two dingers on the night.

Kansas City scored one run, which was a solo homer by Carlos Santana, his sixth, in the fourth inning. Other than that, Michael Pineda took care of business, wiggling out of any jams he got himself into. The Twins’ bullpen, which entered as one of the AL’s worst, completely shut the Royals down over the last four frames.

Honestly, it was somewhat in reach for the Royals until the eighth, when Wade Davis gave up almost as many runs as he did in the entirety of 2014. The inning started with Kansas City trailing 5-1, but the first five Twins reached and the lead ballooned to 9-1.

Wade Davis has allowed eight runs in 8.2 innings pitched this year. He allowed eight earned runs in 72.0 innings in 2014, and he allowed seven earned runs in 67.1 innings in 2015. Crazy.

One positive about this game: Ervin Santana did a great job in relief. Considering the Royals are in day one of a nine-games-in-nine-days streak, having your starter leave after the second inning is not good. Santana threw four innings tonight and gave up just one run, saving the bullpen in a big way. He looked good, too!

This is a very immature take, I know. But the Minnesota Twins drive me crazy.

My entire life, I’ve seen the Twins absolutely own the Royals. With the exception of 2015 and part of 2016, this team has blown through Kansas City, season after season. If you only watched Twins-Royals games, you would think Minnesota has won the World Series 30 different times. Of course, they have not done that, as the Twins have been brutally uninteresting for the last 25+ years. They haven’t won a single noteworthy baseball game in my 26-year lifetime. The only thing they’re known for is the historic losing streak of consecutive playoff games lost.

This franchise employed Joe Mauer, who had two thousand of the least exciting, noteworthy hits in baseball history. Joe Mauer could come off the street today after not playing for years and go 3-for-3 with three singles, two walks, and 56 pitches seen against the Royals. Every single game between the Royals and Twins at Target Field is the same: it takes four hours to complete and Minnesota wins 8-3 or something like that, and right after it’s over, you can’t remember a single interesting thing that happened all game. The Twins are the team that everybody forgets when they take that “see if you can name all 30 MLB teams!” quiz on Sporcle. They entered this game 8-15, but because it is written in the baseball laws, the Royals were the team that looked 8-15.

Minnesota will, in all likelihood, get going and make the playoffs, where they will inevitably get swept in their first series because they’re the best franchise in sports history at losing postseason games.

The Royals are now 15-9. Game two is tomorrow at 1:10 pm, as Danny Duffy will look to continue his hot start to the season. Hopefully Singer’s foot is ok, because that looked painful.