Royals Rumblings - News for April 6, 2022

At The Athletic, Levi Weaver brings the flavor with this bold prediction while ranking the Royals as the 23rd-best MLB team. Please treat yourself to all of the bold predictions from Weaver and Grant Brisbee.

Bobby Witt Jr. has made the team. Zack Greinke is back in Kansas City. The Royals are at least one (and probably closer to two) years away from this whole thing coming together like the plan says, but considering they won the World Series in 2015 (and were still a .500 team in 2016) the turnaround has been light speed, by rebuild standards.

Bold prediction: Witt starts using a catchphrase after home runs — something like “PAPA-POW” or “HALTER-TOP!” It’s very strange, but everyone just goes along with it. He wins the AL Rookie of the Year and, in his acceptance speech, pulls off a mask to reveal that he is actually Sacha Baron Cohen and has been in disguise as Witt since infancy. “PAPA-POW” he says, running through the left-field gate before security can apprehend him. The real Witt is finally allowed to come out of hiding, but instead of a shortstop, he’s actually a pitcher with big-time velo but questionable control. “That makes way more sense,” everyone over the age of 40 acknowledges.

Speaking of BWJ and The Athletic, Alec Lewis compiled glowing words from people in Witt’s past and present, praising his prodigious talent.

The moment Bob got the news from Mike Matheny:

At SI’s Inside the Royals, Sterling Holmes points out the significance of Bobby Witt, Jr. batting second.

Josh Staumont got some love from the Pitching Ninja:

Last night, in Omaha’s opening day win, JaCoby Jones hit a ball four hundred and sixty-one feet.

Old friend alert: Drew Butera retires, probably for real this time.

MLB approved the use of PitchCom technology in an attempt to cut down on sign stealing.

Hannah Keyser, one of my favorite writers, profiles Tampa Bay’s young star Wander Franco.

Five things that could befall the San Francisco Giants.

Veteran infielder Jordy Mercer is retiring.

What’s the timeline on Jacob deGrom’s return from injury?

Two of Charles Darwin’s notebooks were anonymously returned after they had been missing for 20+ years.

Elon Musk is now Twitter’s biggest shareholder.

For no reason, here’s a video about ill-advised car tunnels.

An avian flu outbreak is still spreading.

A man played Weird Al’s “Amish Paradise” for his Amish coworker and recorded his reaction.

From Reddit, two questions. One an opportunity to gripe, and one an opportunity to praise. What is a severely out-of-date technology you’re still forced to use regularly?

and

What TV show managed to be consistently fantastic from the first episode to the finale?

SOTD: New Harry Styles!