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The thing about rock bottom is that you can bring a pickax and make a new, lower rock bottom. That’s where we are right now, with the Kansas City Royals LARPing as Minecraft players furiously digging lower and lower just to say they can. Tonight was the seventh consecutive loss and sent the Royals a stunning 30 (thirty) games below .500. It has not yet reached the middle of June. Tonight, they did so in a routinely excruciating way: blowing a multi-run lead, clawing back to send it into extras, and then fumbling the game away with terrible fundamentals and key misplays. The final score: 5-4 loss versus the Reds.
I’ll be honest here, I did not watch innings one through nine. That’s because I was watching the NBA Finals, a terrifically competitive game between the Miami Heat and the Denver Nuggets. The Nuggets eventually won, their first NBA title in the franchise’s history. That’s always nice to see! It was the correct choice. Frankly, anything is the correct choice rather than watching a full Royals game.
Over in Kansas City, Zack Greinke was doing pretty good things. He had a nice double play that shows why he is a reigning Gold Glove winner:
Six-time Gold Glove winner Zack Greinke at your service.
— Bally Sports Kansas City (@BallySportsKC) June 13, 2023
TV: Bally Sports Kansas City
Stream: Bally Sports app pic.twitter.com/5HXPwBftV7
And at the end of the game, Salvador Perez extended the Royals’ misery. To be fair, it was a great home run, a very exciting home run! The pitch was...poor. Right down the middle of the plate. Salvy was excited. If you haven’t been paying attention, you might have thought that the Royals had a chance.
SALVY!!! Bottom of the ninth, two outs, down one run. The captain delivers in the clutch! Tie game! #Royals
— Bally Sports Kansas City (@BallySportsKC) June 13, 2023
TV: Bally Sports Kansas City
Stream: Bally Sports app pic.twitter.com/m5PSgtry6v
The Reds got a run in the top of the 10th. And With men on second base and third base—thanks to Bobby Witt Jr.’s third walk of the night, which was quite a feat considering he hadn’t walked in a game since May 17, and that is not a typo—Edward Olivares turned in perhaps the worst plate appearance of the season. Up 3-0, Olivares was lackadaisical in getting back in the batter’s box and was called an automatic strike. He then watched a slider go down the middle of the plate for strike two. He then swung and popped up on what would have been ball four. Yeesh.
David Lesky had the tweet of the night in the sixth inning:
The #Royals lead by one in the sixth and I put their win probability at about 4%.
— David Lesky (@DBLesky) June 13, 2023
Go to bed, y’all. The Royals will still be here, and still be terrible, tomorrow.
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