The Royals lost again so I had Chat GPT write song lyrics about Jordan Lyles in the style of Taylor Swift

Look, I know that those of you who comment on game threads don’t always read what I write in the story itself. That’s ok! But I wanted to quote myself for something I said because it was pretty on the nose here:

The thing about Jordan Lyles is not that he is bad, which he is, but he is so consistently bad that the Royals offense is under immense pressure every time he steps to the mound. Lyles has started 14 games for the team this year, and he has allowed fewer than four runs only twice. And considering that the bullpen usually gives up at least one run every game, that means that the offense must score at least six runs to win nearly every game started by Lyles.

Lo and behold, to get the win in a Jordan Lyles start, the Royals would have needed to score at least six runs. Tonight, they only scored four, and the Tigers won 6-4.

It wasn’t totally Lyles’ fault tonight, which is why he didn’t get the loss. Matt Quatraro brought Lyles out for the seventh inning with a 4-1 lead for some reason, and it went exactly as well as you’d expect: Lyles gave up a single and a double to put runners on the corners with zero outs. Taylor Clarke came in and promptly allowed five runs (two of which were charged to Lyles, making it three), which was...not good.

This makes 15 starts for Lyles and 15 Royals losses. So, because no one is interested in reading about this game anymore (go watch Maikel Garcia and Bobby Witt Jr. hit home runs, though, that was fun), I decided to enlist the help of Chat GPT to write me song lyrics about Jordan Lyles in the style of Taylor Swift. At first, it was too upbeat, so I asked it rewrite it but make sure it was a sad song instead. And indeed it is, but...the Royals are sad, so. It fits. Enjoy:

(Verse 1)

In a world of dreams, where shadows fall,
There’s a pitcher with a heartache that’s tall.
Jordan Lyles, a name burdened with pain,
With the Kansas City Royals, struggling in vain.

(Pre-Chorus)

His wins are elusive, slipping away,
Each defeat etched deep, day after day.
Through the darkest innings, he fights the tide,
But luck seems to scorn him, leaving him denied.

(Chorus)

Oh, Jordan Lyles, burdened by defeat,
Your struggles and sorrows, so heavy to meet.
In every pitch thrown, a heartache remains,
One day, the clouds may lift, freeing you from these chains.

(Verse 2)

On the mound, he battles with tears,
Every pitch tossed, amplifying his fears.
The weight of the losses, a relentless weight,
As the crowd grows silent, their hopes dissipate.

(Pre-Chorus)

His wins are elusive, slipping away,
Each defeat etched deep, day after day.
Through the darkest innings, he fights the tide,
But luck seems to scorn him, leaving him denied.

(Chorus)

Oh, Jordan Lyles, burdened by defeat,
Your struggles and sorrows, so heavy to meet.
In every pitch thrown, a heartache remains,
One day, the clouds may lift, freeing you from these chains.

(Bridge)

In the dimmest hour, a glimmer may rise,
Through the sorrow and pain, a flicker in his eyes.
Yet hope flickers fragile, a dimming flame,
As he battles the demons, his struggles remain.

(Chorus)

Oh, Jordan Lyles, burdened by defeat,
Your struggles and sorrows, so heavy to meet.
In every pitch thrown, a heartache remains,
One day, the clouds may lift, freeing you from these chains.

(Outro)

The road is treacherous, the path so bleak,
But your spirit endures, though your soul feels weak.
With every pitch, a chance for solace and peace,
May the winds of fortune change, and your sorrows release.